Having Courageous Conversations
“We knew that there could be no real sisterhood between white women and women of color if white women were not able to divest of white supremacy”
-bell hooks
We often experience discomfort when having dialogues about race. Discomfort is inevitable. But remember: It is not talking about these issues that creates divisiveness. The divisiveness already exists in our society and (likely) in your organization and groups. It is through dialogue, especially uncomfortable dialogue, that healing and change begin. As you embark on your journey toward a more equitable organization, be open about your thoughts and feelings and do not just say what you think others want to hear.
Here are ten tips to help give you courage as you have these necessary conversations:
- Don’t avoid the elephant in the room. Talk openly about equity to appeal to people’s conscious values and challenge their unconscious biases.
- Acknowledge that we all have unconscious biases or unspoken stereotypes. We can’t help it, but we can help what we do about it.
- The more we talk about inequity openly, the more we can make sure it doesn’t influence the way we treat people.
- Remind people of the values we all share—no matter where our ancestors came from or what language they spoke.
- We are stronger together when everyone can contribute.
- Our diversity adds to our strength as communities.
- Use analogies of cooperation and unity that people can relate to—i.e., community groups and teams.
- Keep learning and asking questions! As you are having these conversations, don’t forget to keep examining your own biases and to keep listening to the voices and experiences of others.
- Work across identities and support changes that increase opportunity for people of color through conversations, messaging, and action.
- Ask questions.
Recipe Are You What You Eat?
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This recipe is designed to allow you to put these tips into action while discussing a topic which we all enjoy: food. As you begin having these uncomfortable conversations, you may find that your comfort levels increase and the conversations become easier.
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Yourself
An open mind
A friend, neighbor or acquaintance who has a different background from yourself
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Reach out to a friend and ask if they’d let you interview (or just talk) to them about what foods are important to their culture.
Ask probing questions, such as:
What’s your favorite food?
How is that food eaten?
Is the food part of the person’s family heritage or tradition? Or was the food introduced through some other social contact?
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As you’re having these discussions, keep the 10 tips above in mind.
Consider the connection between food and culture in our everyday lives.
Explore food and culture as they relate to your everyday life.
Consider what types of foods in your life have been affected by an increase in diversity of your circle.