Just Kidding.
Everyone laughs. Across cultures and places, something can tickle your funny bone and before you know it, you’re laughing so hard that your sides ache and tears are on your cheeks. Laughter is something that unites us.
Except when it doesn’t.
The reasons why we laugh or don’t laugh reveal something about us: laughter surprises us and points to our assumptions, our sore spots, our edges of comfort and discomfort. Skilled comedians use this carefully — and as a result, comedy is one of the few venues in American public life that speaks openly and directly about race.
At the same time, comedic social commentary can be a high-wire act: finding the edge of comfort and discomfort can be a difficult line to walk, and slip-ups can be painful and damaging for the audience. Young children learn what adults sometimes forget: “laughing with” someone can turn into “laughing at” someone all too easily. The difference between the two often has to do with the differences in our identities: who we are informs what we think is funny and what is not.
Jokes about identity, difference, and race aren’t always funny, but they are oftentimes revealing. At Onward, we thoughtfully and deliberately use comic relief to acknowledge differences and start conversations about equity. Try this recipe with a group of people who know each other (at least a little bit) already, and who want to engage in a shared experience to deepen their understanding of identity and difference.
“Comic Relief: The interruption of a serious work, especially a tragedy, by a short humorous episode. The inclusion of such comic scenes, characters, or speeches can have various and complex effects, ranging from relaxation after moments of high tension to sinister ironic brooding.”
Oxford reference
Recipe Equity and Comic Relief
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Watch short selections of stand-up comedy, then discuss it in small groups.
When watching the video clips, we recommend you make a deliberate choice about how you watch them: together, as a large group, or in smaller groups of people who share similar identities or affinities. Since comic relief can reveal something about our edges of comfort and discomfort, we acknowledge that it can be difficult to hear some people laugh about a topic that others may take very seriously. By engaging in this exercise in identity- or affinity-based groups, there is safety to laugh—or not— with people who may share your perspective or experience. At the same time, if the larger group already knows one another and makes the choice to watch the clips together, that can create even more space for honest, productive dialogue.
Immediately pairing these moments of comic relief with thoughtful reflection and discussion is key to transforming a laugh into something much more: a courageous conversation about equity.
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- A group of 10+ people that can subdivide into affinity- or identity-based groups
If you choose to watch the clips in smaller groups, they should be at least 3 people, and no more than 6 people (splitting into smaller groups if they get too large).
Some possible configurations of affinity- or identity-based groups may include: LGBTQI+; women of color; men of color; white men; white women; those racialized as white; neurodiversity, mental health, and disability; and a heterogeneous group
Keep an eye out for next month’s Recipe for Equity with tips on creating affinity groups!
- A screen where small groups can watch video clips together.
If the groups are meeting virtually, each participant can turn off their web camera while watching the clips on their own computer.
- A selection of short video clips of comic relief that touch on relevant themes of identity and equity, such as...
Being gay is harder than being black — Wanda Sykes
Why Asians are Good at Math (explicit language) — Jimmy O. Yang
Latino Culture Rankings — Anjelah Johnson
Arranged or Forced Marriages — Fatiha El Ghorri
How Indian Parents Make You Tougher (explicit language) — Hasan Minhaj
Substitute Teacher: Key & Peele (explicit language) — Key & Peele
- A group of 10+ people that can subdivide into affinity- or identity-based groups
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Invite:
Invite a group to come together, laugh, and learn with each other. Give them a heads-up about what you’ll do so that folks are informed and comfortable about opting in.
Prepare:
Make a choice about watching the clips as a whole group or in small, affinity-based groups (check the ingredients above for tips). Preview the discussion prompts that will follow before choosing a video clip to watch as a group.
Watch:
Watch one short (3-5 mins) video clip together. If folks are in a virtual meeting, invite them to turn off their microphones and cameras while they watch. (It can be helpful for each person to react only to the comedy, and not each other, at first.)
Discuss:
- Immediately after watching the video clip, have a conversation:
How did this clip make you feel?
Does this clip make you feel more or less vulnerable when it comes to discussing race, racism, equity, etc.?
Which parts did you feel comfortable vs. uncomfortable laughing about?
How might laughter make space for difficult dialogue?
Reconvene:
- Bring the full group back together (if you split into smaller affinity-based groups) for a brief conversation:
How does your identity affect how you have conversations across lines of difference?
Is there something in your past where you became aware of your ability/inability to say certain things?
Is there a time when you’ve felt terribly misunderstood or actually have misunderstood others with respect to language, culture, and identity?
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In the office:
Mixing comic relief and equity conversations can be an unsettling idea for people in leadership roles. Take time to build relationships and trust before pushing too far beyond their comfort zones.
At home:
Comedy can reveal generational gaps (along with other cultural differences). If you watch and discuss with a young person in your life, discuss those similarities and differences you experience, too.
Select video clips carefully:
This recipe can easily turn sour if the video clips are offensive or if the small groups’ dialogue after the videos are not carefully facilitated. If you have had success leading this activity with video clips that we haven’t listed above, we invite you to share them with us in the comments.
